happyevraftr (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
happyevraftr) wrote2011-09-13 09:48 am
happyevraftr) wrote2011-09-13 09:48 am
Entry tags:
really bad day yesterday
I need to expunge some bad mojo this morning. I'm seriously depressed and it's just gotta go :/ Bear with me dear flist.
For those of you that don't know- I'm a dance teacher. I'm going on my sixth year teaching at the same studio and I simply adore it. I don't have kids yet so the dance studio girls are like my little bb's. I've already been depressed because I know this is my last year to teach- my husband and I are moving as soon as I'm done with grad school.
So yesterday I got a phone call from my boss/owner of the studio/friend. She goes on to tell me that one of our dancer's has a serious injury to where she may never dance again if she doesn't stay off it. She proceeds to tell me they believe it was from something she did in one of my dances last year and that the move she was doing was to advanced for any of my girls and I need to be careful not to put to much stress on the girls as they're still growing. She also insinuated that I ignored the girl's pain and forced her to dance through it.
I didn't really say anything when I was on the phone with her because I was in the middle of stuff and didn't really register what she was saying. Now I'm just heartbroken though. My boss is kinda notorious for not standing up for her teachers, which has always bothered me- but this is way worse than anything she's done before. Trying to pin the guilt on me for possibly the end of someone's dance career is a horrible thing to do. The move they were doing WAS NOT too difficult for her age level. I was hopping on pointe at this girls age and our more advanced dancers hop on pointe at the other studios they're at. I taught them the correct technique and made sure they did it correctly. Not to mention, this girl is the type that won't complain, won't say anything and pushes herself to the max. I told her repeatedly not to go on pointe if it was hurting her. I tell all my students that. I purposely teach my classes above their level with the disclaimer that I just want them to try. How can they ever get better if we're not pushing them? I also felt like this was extremely hypocritacal of my boss to say considering she pushed this same girl to the extreme in her solo. She even had her dance this very strenous and acrobatic solo this past weekend when she knew her ankle was bothering her- so excuse me- but who's pushing her to hard? grrrr....
*sigh* So last night I went to classes and literally felt sick to my stomach. This morning I was balling my eyes out. I want to confront her because frankly, I don't appreciate her attacking my integrity that way. However, I know her and I just know she will put me in a position where my only option is to quit and that would seriously break my heart. I love those dance studio kids so much. I KNOW I'm a good teacher and I don't want to leave them hanging for the year. The other teachers simply don't have my background in classical ballet and it would be such a shame to see their talent wasted. My girls have placed really high at competition every year and I want to continue that. (Part of me wonders if my boss isn't just jealous...idk) Per my mother's great advice I'm going to let sleeping dogs lie. Considering this is my last year of dance there's no point in bringing this up only to have to leave early- especially since that would tear me apart. I'm still just really sad and depressed though. My boss was a really good friend of mine and I'm her longest standing teacher. We've been through a lot of shit together and I was there for her when her sister died this year. To put something on me like this is just such a shock and I'm so hurt and dissapointed. I feel like I never actually had her respect or trust. I feel like a fool for putting in all the extra unpaid hours out of friendship. *tear* So for this year I'm not doing anything extra (like studio sleepovers) without getting paid. I'm dancing solely for my kiddos cus I can't bear to leave them.
*sigh* ok I feel slightly better. I think I'm just gonna be a bit sad and depressed for a while. This was such a low blow that came completely out of left field. If you made it this far through all that depression mumble, well thanks for listening <3
For those of you that don't know- I'm a dance teacher. I'm going on my sixth year teaching at the same studio and I simply adore it. I don't have kids yet so the dance studio girls are like my little bb's. I've already been depressed because I know this is my last year to teach- my husband and I are moving as soon as I'm done with grad school.
So yesterday I got a phone call from my boss/owner of the studio/friend. She goes on to tell me that one of our dancer's has a serious injury to where she may never dance again if she doesn't stay off it. She proceeds to tell me they believe it was from something she did in one of my dances last year and that the move she was doing was to advanced for any of my girls and I need to be careful not to put to much stress on the girls as they're still growing. She also insinuated that I ignored the girl's pain and forced her to dance through it.
I didn't really say anything when I was on the phone with her because I was in the middle of stuff and didn't really register what she was saying. Now I'm just heartbroken though. My boss is kinda notorious for not standing up for her teachers, which has always bothered me- but this is way worse than anything she's done before. Trying to pin the guilt on me for possibly the end of someone's dance career is a horrible thing to do. The move they were doing WAS NOT too difficult for her age level. I was hopping on pointe at this girls age and our more advanced dancers hop on pointe at the other studios they're at. I taught them the correct technique and made sure they did it correctly. Not to mention, this girl is the type that won't complain, won't say anything and pushes herself to the max. I told her repeatedly not to go on pointe if it was hurting her. I tell all my students that. I purposely teach my classes above their level with the disclaimer that I just want them to try. How can they ever get better if we're not pushing them? I also felt like this was extremely hypocritacal of my boss to say considering she pushed this same girl to the extreme in her solo. She even had her dance this very strenous and acrobatic solo this past weekend when she knew her ankle was bothering her- so excuse me- but who's pushing her to hard? grrrr....
*sigh* So last night I went to classes and literally felt sick to my stomach. This morning I was balling my eyes out. I want to confront her because frankly, I don't appreciate her attacking my integrity that way. However, I know her and I just know she will put me in a position where my only option is to quit and that would seriously break my heart. I love those dance studio kids so much. I KNOW I'm a good teacher and I don't want to leave them hanging for the year. The other teachers simply don't have my background in classical ballet and it would be such a shame to see their talent wasted. My girls have placed really high at competition every year and I want to continue that. (Part of me wonders if my boss isn't just jealous...idk) Per my mother's great advice I'm going to let sleeping dogs lie. Considering this is my last year of dance there's no point in bringing this up only to have to leave early- especially since that would tear me apart. I'm still just really sad and depressed though. My boss was a really good friend of mine and I'm her longest standing teacher. We've been through a lot of shit together and I was there for her when her sister died this year. To put something on me like this is just such a shock and I'm so hurt and dissapointed. I feel like I never actually had her respect or trust. I feel like a fool for putting in all the extra unpaid hours out of friendship. *tear* So for this year I'm not doing anything extra (like studio sleepovers) without getting paid. I'm dancing solely for my kiddos cus I can't bear to leave them.
*sigh* ok I feel slightly better. I think I'm just gonna be a bit sad and depressed for a while. This was such a low blow that came completely out of left field. If you made it this far through all that depression mumble, well thanks for listening <3
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Take it easy and dont be sad, you know yuou are a good teacher that wouldnt put your students something like that. So keep that in mind.
[hugs]
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*hugs*
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It's unfortunate that your only option is just to let this go, especially when it's making you feel this bad, but it's good that the kids are worth it- no one should put up with crap like that completely unappreciated. Have faith that you're a good teacher, which I have no doubt you are, and the rest'll get better.
I hope the girl gets better too, and that this doesn't end up affecting her career.
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It's awkward between me and her now, but my love for dance is bigger than that =D
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I would say that you should go talk to her, but I completely understand not really wanting to do that, I don't think I could stand up to someone like that myself, I'm definitely shy when it comes to things like this. Plus, there's no use doing anything that's just going to make it worse, don't let her talk you into leaving though, you and your students definitely deserve to have you for the remainder of the year!
*hugs* ♥♥
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You guys have all been super wonderful and I felt lots better tonight. Thanks for the support :)
*hugs*
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Of course, that's what we're here for! ♥
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So btw...I'm slowly (very slowly) figuring tumblr out. And I discovered the arthurxmerlin community tumblr page. But is there any way to search for that kind of stuff? It's driving me nuts not having a way to search for comm's like there is on lj lol
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These are some other merlin-related blogs I likee:
fuckyeahcolinmorgan (http://fuckyeahcolinmorgan.tumblr.com/)
colin-bradley (http://colin-bradley.tumblr.com/)
fy-katiemcgrath (http://fy-katiemcgrath.tumblr.com/)
Also, here (http://ourspacesongs.tumblr.com/tagged/follow%20friday) I have a bunch of personal merlin-related blogs on my follow fridays, so you can check some of them out if you want.
Hope that helps!
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