Merlin Fanfic: Gilli's Revenge, (1/1), NC17

[happyevraftr]

A/N: Hello dear friends. I would like to congratulate myself for using an LJ cut for the first time ^^ I figured since I'm going crazy with these friending meme's and actually meeting some ppl- you guys  don't wan't your flist clogged up with my 5,000 words. Anyways...this fic is to fill a prompt over at KMM:

"Gilli wasn't quite so understanding after Merlin blocked his magic in the tournament. He's angry, hurt, and feels betrayed by his own kin. Knowing how much Arthur means to Merlin, he decides to make Merlin hurt as well by going after his beloved prince."

This was going to be a short little thing and somehow turned into a 5,000 word fic =O

I must give a HUGE thank-you to my betalippykid lippykid. She is nothing short of amazing at editing my work. She tells it like it is and I love her for it. <3

This story contains rape/non-con so PLEASE don't read if that's not something your comfortable reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin



After hearing Merlin's piss poor excuse for his betrayal, Gilli ran off to lick his wounds in private. He was seething, and his magic wanted nothing more to take its revenge on the traitor who dared call himself a warlock. Nothing had ever been as humiliating and degrading as the moment the king had beat him- only because of Merlin's help. He had worked so hard for that one moment of victory, and it had been stolen from him in the worst way possible; betrayal by one of his own kind. He felt robbed of the justice he sought and overwhelmed with guilt that he had failed his father's memory. If he could, he would have blasted Merlin to ashes. Unfortunately, the other boy was much more powerful than he was.

He paced the length of his rented room, letting the anger and frustration roll off him in waves. He may not be powerful, but Merlin had to be punished in one way or another. As desperation set in, it dawned on him that while he didn't have the power to make Merlin suffer, King Uther certainly did. The corners of Gilli's mouth turned into a malicious smile as he watched it all play out in his mind's eye; Merlin's screams while his beloved prince watched him burn would be more than satisfactory to quench his thirst for justice. He was about to leave his chambers to request an audience with the king when a voice of reason finally spoke up, and he realized his plan had some major holes in it. He was going on the assumption that the king would believe his word over Merlin's, and Arthur's, without any solid proof. Not to mention Merlin was likely powerful enough to escape, which would certainly make his supposed duty to the prince harder but it wouldn't satisfy the rage that had gathered into a hard lump and settled in the pit of Gilli's stomach.

"Of course! The prince…" Gilli mumbled to himself. It should have been the obvious answer from the start. If the sorcerer was so blindly devoted to this prince of his, then Gilli would just have to take Arthur away from him. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him the torture and murder of an innocent man was very wrong and against his moral code, but then he remembered the sting of shame, and his father's dying face, and there was no remorse for what he was going to do. Knowing he would need his energy, Gilli forced himself to rest until nightfall- what he planned needed to be completed when everyone else had fallen asleep, and there was no possibility of having his plans foiled by the far too protective manservant again.

As night fell on Camelot, Gilli slipped unnoticed from the inn and crept across the grounds to the castle. With patience fueled by his desire for vengeance, he took his time avoiding the guards and slowly made his way to the prince's chambers. Now for the tricky part: forcing the guards posted at Arthur's door into a deep slumber. Magic wasn't entirely natural to him, and rarely did it do exactly as he commanded.

"Slæpas." As the guards crumpled to the ground, fast asleep, Gilli could barely contain his excitement. His prize was just beyond the door and all he needed was a few more spells to go his way. With quiet steps and shaking hands, he opened the door and let himself into Arthur's chambers. His heart hammered in his chest so loudly, he was sure the prince would hear it and wake. Once he reached the foot of the bed and looked down at the sleeping man, he almost retreated and abandoned his mission; what he was about to do could never be taken back. It would scar his soul and leave innocent blood on his hands. Gilli took a deep, calming breath, closed his eyes, and envisioned the look in Merlin's eyes as he abandoned one of his own kind to protect the very man responsible for the deaths of innocent magic users. He kept his eyes closed and replayed the day's events over and over in his mind, until his hatred all but consumed him. When he finally opened his eyes they were glowing bright with his angry magic. First, he cast a silencing spell over the prince so his screams wouldn't be heard. Next, he had to bind the prince so he could complete his task. As soon as the last words of the spell were uttered, the prince was pulled onto his back and his arms and legs were pinned in place. This woke him, and he immediately tried to reach for his sword. Upon finding he couldn't move, Arthur cried out for the guards, but no sound came from his lips. When the realization that magic was being used on him came, fear seeped into the young man's heart, betrayed by his face.

"Well hello, sleeping beauty," Gilli said with a smile. "Confused, are we? Of course you are. If it weren't for that meddling serving boy of yours, you'd be dead for your obliviousness." Gilli let a finger trail from Arthur's stomach, up and over his defined chest, before a thought made him stop and laugh. His twisted laugh made Arthur cringe with disgust. "And now you are going to die because of it, or at least because of him. Ironic, isn't it?" He chuckled some more before sitting down on the bed next to the prince. Arthur's countenance had changed from confused to full of wrath. Gilli's hand settled on the other man's stomach and started to mindlessly trace patterns while he talked. Arthur looked like he would've retched from the unwelcome touch if he could.

"You see, Merlin did something rather unforgivable to me. He stole that victory today right out from under me. I'm sure you've figured out by now that I used magic to gain the upper hand. I would have beaten Uther too, if your stupid servant hadn't stopped me." Pulling his arm back, Gilli punched Arthur square in the jaw as hard as he possibly could. The prince's head lolled to the side before being forced back and held rigidly in place by the spell. Blood trickled down his chin from his split lip. His jaw looked like it might be broken too. The sorcerer's eyes gleamed in satisfaction as he watched the prince try to fight against the magical bonds with no success, and he leaned in close to lick the blood from Arthur's chin. "I bet you don't even know Merlin's a sorcerer, do you? You kill innocent people charged with sorcery, and yet the only reason you're alive is because some powerful idiot thinks you're different for some reason." Arthur's face showed his surprise and betrayal; Gilli was overjoyed at this new development, and basked in destruction he was causing. "And now you're going to pay for his actions. He is consumed with you, and since he took my justice from me, I'm going to take you from him."

Arthur was downright horrified with the man sitting right beside him. He was doing everything in his power to draw on years of training and not lose his composure, but it was proving more difficult by the minute. He was being held captive by a sorcerer, about to be killed, and he had just found out his best friend and most trusted advisor (though he would never say it aloud) had magic. It disturbed him that Merlin's betrayal was the thing that stood out the most in his mind. Arthur didn't let many people get close to him- didn't let anyone, really, but Merlin had somehow found a way to burrow under his skin and change him for the better. Finding out that he of all people had betrayed him was like an arrow through the heart. His insides clenched and he was appalled to feel tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Hatred for magic and everything it had done to him, and was about to do to him, bubbled up from a place deep inside him. When Gilli stood up and walked to the end of the bed, Arthur tried to push away his thoughts so he could fight the magic as much as possible, but it was to no avail.

Gilli crawled on top of him and started to undo Arthur's laces, before he forcefully pulled off his night pants. The prince's protests were kept silent by the spell; Arthur could face death gallantly, but having his dignity ripped from him was beyond his limits. He felt helpless, a feeling he was completely unaccustomed to. Gilli undressed and rubbed his cock roughly until it was fully erect. "I want Merlin to know what you went through, what you had to suffer because of him. I want him to regret the day he ever set foot in Camelot." Arthur wasn't sure if his manservant would feel that way, but he certainly was at that moment.

He tried to brace himself as he felt the bed sway and the other man's hard member press against his entrance. Arthur wasn't a virgin by any means, and he knew this was going to be extremely painful without any preparation or oil. With no hesitation, Gilli shoved his way into the prince's body. Arthur clenched his teeth, and a tear slipped from his eye. He did his best not to scream as his flesh was torn and his body was violated; it didn't matter if the scream wouldn't be heard, he didn't want to give the sorcerer the satisfaction. Arthur closed his eyes and tried to let his mind wander while Gilli thrust over and over again. He was able to maintain his composure until the other man started to pull all the way out and then brutally slam himself back in. The pain was excruciating, and Arthur wasn't sure if he could even stay conscious for the whole ordeal. Passing out would have been welcome, but he wanted to look Gilli in the eyes when the sorcerer killed him. He wanted the other man to know that he hadn't broken him; Arthur would die with his pride, even if it cost him everything else.

Just when Arthur thought he couldn't take it anymore, Gilli rammed into him one last time and came with a shudder. He stayed sheathed inside the prince, mercilessly raking his nails down the other man's chest. "That was fun, now wasn't it?" After what seemed like an eternity, Gilli finally removed himself from the prince. He pulled up his trousers and pulled out the dagger he had brought with him.

Arthur swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat as he felt blood and semen dripping from his torn hole. He was throbbing with pain, and he felt utterly used. To be honest, the dagger was a welcome sight; he didn't think he could endure any more torture. Unfortunately, Gilli had other plans, as he sliced shallow cuts all over Arthur's body. Unable to take the pain anymore, he finally let the tears spill from his tired eyes. Shame engulfed him at the sign of weakness, but he was past the point of controlling it.

Abruptly, the door flew open and Merlin ran in. As he took in the scene in front of him, his eyes widened with horror. "What have you done?" he choked out. Arthur was bleeding from several cuts and was nude from the waist down. His hair was plastered to his face with sweat, and his eyes were full of pain and hatred. Merlin turned his attention to Gilli, who looked none too pleased. "Of course you interrupted," he exclaimed, voice full of annoyance. "No matter, you are still to blame for this." Fury built in Merlin, and without a second thought he used his magic to throw Gilli into the wall, knocking him unconscious. Merlin rushed to Arthur's side and tried to see what had been done to him. The prince flinched at every touch, but couldn't get away from the warlock, as he was still held silent and motionless by the magic. Merlin was the last person he wanted to see; as far as he was concerned, Merlin was just as much to blame for his torture as Gilli.

"Arthur, can you hear me? I'm so sorry this happened. I knew I had a bad feeling but I couldn't get here in time. I knew something was wrong. I'm so sorry," he repeated as tears streamed down his face. Arthur tried to respond but no sound came. Recognition dawned on Merlin's face, and he easily removed all the spells Gilli had cast. Ignoring the pain, Arthur jumped out of bed, drew his sword and pointed it at Merlin.

"Get away from me, you sorcerer!" Merlin instantly recoiled in shock. He hadn't realized the prince's vehemence was directed at him. "You probably planned this, didn't you? Magic is evil, look at what it's done to me!" he shouted through his dry throat. Merlin sighed and did his best to ignore the stab to the heart his words brought. "You need to hold still so I can heal your wounds." He said softly, trying to calm Arthur down. Arthur only glared at him in response and took a threatening step towards the warlock. "You're kind will never touch me again." Merlin's forehead scrunched in grief. "You could die if those cuts aren't treated, please let me help you." Arthur couldn't be reasoned with and tried to swing his sword towards his manservant. Having no other option, Merlin froze time. He walked over and placed his hand over one of Arthur's wounds and whispered, "béo eormen edgrówung." The skin knitted itself back together, as if nothing had happened. Merlin repeated the spell over every injury on the prince until no wounds were left. He took several steps back from the prince and let time flow again. Arthur looked shocked as his body slowly registered that the pan and injuries were gone.

"Stop using magic on me. I don't want your help, sorcerer!" The feeling of magic crawling through his body was making him want to throw up again. This was like beign violated in an entirely different way, that was just as bad as Gilli.

"Guards!" Arthur yelled as loudly as he could. "Guards!" He tried to walk towards the door.

"Arthur, please don't do this. I've only ever used my magic to help you. I'd never hurt you, I swear." Arthur turned suddenly and hobbled over to him before grabbing his throat.

"Magic is evil, Merlin, and that makes you evil. What happened here tonight was because of you. Gilli wanted to get back at you for using magic against him."

"I only used magic against him because he was going to try and hurt or kill your father in the tournament!"

"It doesn't matter, you burn in the morning." A sob tore from Merlin's throat. He had really hoped that Arthur finding out about his magic would be a positive thing, but Gilli had outed him, and put Arthur in a state of mind where he might never accept magic now. Not only did that cut Merlin to the core, but it meant he had failed his destiny. This whole evening had proven Merlin to be a failure; Arthur should never have been attacked and violated. He bowed his head in shame but managed to whisper a response.

"I can't let you kill me, Arthur. It's my duty to protect you whether you like it or not. I'll never forgive myself for what you had to endure tonight, but it's still my destiny to protect you- no matter how badly I've failed."

"We'll just see about that. Guards!" Arthur cried one last time and was finally met with a response. At the sight of two Camelot guards entering the room, Merlin acted on instinct and froze time again. He placed a hand on Arthur's cheek and cried for the life he was losing. He had started to like being the prince's manservant, and had even come to think of him as a friend. Now he was being forced to leave it all behind all because of some stupid kid with a bone to pick with Uther. Merlin turned and hauled the unconscious Gilli to the bed. Knowing somewhere he shouldn't, but unable to stop himself, he took Gilli's own dagger and plunged it straight through his heart with a roar of grief and anger. It was letting him off to easy, but Merlin didn't have the time to make him pay like he wanted. After the tears had abated, Merlin pulled out a pen and parchment and left a note on Gilli's body.

He walked back over to the frozen prince. He gently touched his hand to Arthur's shoulder before running out the door. Before leaving, he left a note for Gaius, explaining everything. Once he was safely away from the castle, Merlin released his hold on time back in Arthur's room. As the evening's events caught up with him, he curled onto his side and started crying with everything in his heart.

Back at the castle, Arthur blinked as his room changed in the blink of an eye. Merlin had disappeared and Gilli was lying on his bed with a dagger through his chest. Arthur nervously scanned the room, but couldn't find any trace of his manservant.

"Sire! What happened? Are you alright?" The guards' worried voices came upon taking in the dead boy on the regent's bed. He shook his head, trying to understand what had happened. Everything was not all right, but he still managed to lace his voice with confidence.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. This man tried to attack me while I was sleeping. He incapacitated the guards outside using magic."

"Good thing you got him then, sire. Would you like us to remove the body for you?" Arthur nodded his head, still not able to comprehend what was going on.

"Your highness, we found this on the body. It's addressed to you." The guard handed him a piece of parchment, and they hauled Gilli's body out of the room. A few minutes later a serving girl came in with fresh linens, and changed his bed. Arthur could hear Uther yelling at the now conscious guards, and threatening to end their lives, but he could barely concentrate on anything. He assured his father everything was alright, and ushered everyone out of his room as soon as possible. He opened the letter and wasn't surprised to see it was from Merlin.

Arthur,

Please know that I truly regard you as a friend. I've disposed of Gilli for you. I know you'd have wanted to do it yourself, but I was afraid he'd use magic on you again, and I wasn't going to let him to hurt you.

What he did to you was unforgivable, and I can't even imagine what he must have put you through. I can understand why you believe all magic is evil. I wish I could make you believe different, but I realise it's a bit of a lost cause.

Everything I did with my magic has been for you. I've saved your life countless times, and done my best to keep the kingdom safe. You are a good man and you will be a legendary king. Please don't let this change that. Don't lose faith in the good of your people and don't lose faith in yourself. You're strong, and I know you can get past this.

I wanted to tell you about my magic someday. You are my best friend. Take care of yourself and please don't get a bootlicker for your next servant or be too much of a prat. As I told you once before, I'm happy to serve you until the day I die. I'll be protecting you from afar.

Merlin

Arthur's first instinct was to tear the letter to pieces and demand every knight in Camelot go searching for the idiot. If he couldn't have Gilli's head, then he could at least have Merlin's. He was about to summon the guards before he realized his accusations would have to include everything that had happened. He would have to explain the entire ordeal to his father if he ordered the guards to search for him. The physical pain may have been gone, but the mental and emotional damage had been done, and Arthur didn't want to relive that. With a heavy sigh, he crumpled the letter and threw it on the floor. For now, banishment would have to be enough justice where Merlin was concerned.

Weeks passed and things began to return to normal, for the most part. Gaius wouldn't look him in the eyes, which made Arthur suspect Merlin must have told him and that he knew about Merlin's magic. Everyone else thought Merlin had just gotten home sick and had moved back to Ealdor. Morgana was the only one who didn't believe it, and kept glaring at him scathingly. Arthur refused to take another manservant; having somebody around all the time would've made him too nervous, and while he wouldn't admit it, replacing Merlin just seemed impossible. At times he wondered how the other man was doing. Sometimes he hoped he had returned to Ealdor, but he knew the sorcerer wouldn't break his promise to watch from afar. Somewhere out there, Merlin was keeping an eye on him. At first the idea creeped him out, and it felt like he had to keep looking over his shoulder. It took time for the prince not to flinch away from everyday touches. He had been through a traumatic ordeal, and he knew it took time to recover, like any injury. The fact that he had no one to confide in anymore didn't help matters though. Without realizing it, Merlin had made himself a permanent fixture in Arthur's life, and now he didn't know what to do without him. He hadn't truly known how lonely his life was before the bumbling idiot had made an appearance. Rather than seeing his mistake, Arthur chose to stay angry and continue to blame the sorcerer for everything that had happened. If he pardoned Merlin, then he would have to recognize that not all magic was evil and he simply couldn't reconcile that in his mind. It took six months before he finally started to feel like his old self again, only something was missing.

It took him three more months to realize that something was Merlin's friendship. His anger from that night, so long ago now, had vaporized, and he realized none of it was truly Merlin's fault. If he was honest with himself, he wouldn't even be alive if the idiot hadn't walked in and saved him from Gilli. Time healed all wounds, and Arthur was finally in a place where he could look back on that night and not shy away from the memories. He was strong and he had gotten through it. He took out Merlin's letter and re-read it for the first time in nine months. Reading it without all the hatred made him weep for his mistake. He never should have threatened Merlin's life, or made him leave. While he had unwittingly provoked Gilli, he had only been trying to protect Arthur. As the prince looked back on the years of Merlin's service, he realized that the boy must have saved him at least three dozen times over. With a healed heart and clear head, Arthur decided it was time to bring his friend back home. That very evening, he went and talked with Gaius.

The old physician wasn't there when he arrived, so he sat at his table and waited for him to return. When he walked through the door and saw Arthur at his table, he scowled and avoided his gaze. "Is there something I can do for you, sire?" His voice was curt and lacked any of the affection it used to possess for the prince. Arthur tried to choke back his emotions with little success.

"Is he ok?"

Gaius' head snapped up and his eyes softened at the pained expression on Arthur's face. "He's alright." Gaius didn't seem to want to offer up any more information so Arthur tried to pry it out of him.

"Can I see him?"

The infamous eyebrow appeared as the physician stared him down. "So you can kill him? I think not."

"I don't know what Merlin told you before he left, but what happened to me that night was..." He sighed deeply and reigned in his wild emotions; he hadn't ever explained what happened out loud to anyone. "Well it was terrifying, Gaius. I had absolutely no control and no way to fight back. Magic was used against me in the most personal way possible, and it's taken me a long time to see past that. When Merlin found me I was in no condition to be around him. I blamed all magic for what happened." Gaius gave him a look like his explanation hadn't worked, and that he still wasn't going to tell him where a known sorcerer was that he was trying to protect.

Arthur sighed and decided it was worth the small sacrifice of pride on his part to get Merlin back. "Now that I've had some time to think about it, I know Merlin isn't evil. He was trying to protect me. I miss him so much. He was my only friend. I turn to him for advice or to joke with, and it eats away at me every time he's not there. Life just isn't complete without that idiot in it, so please, tell me where he is so I can bring him home." Gaius smiled wide, and had tears in his eyes.

"I'm right here, Arthur." The prince closed his eyes as he let his voice wash over him. He had waited for so long to hear that voice again. Ever so slowly, he turned around in his chair and saw Merlin standing there, looking almost exactly as he had nine months ago.

"I'll just let you boys talk then," Gaius said as he left the room.

More than anything Arthur wanted to wrap the man in a hug, but he wasn't sure how he would be received. "I'm sorry, Merlin. I never should have tried to kill you. I never should have sent you away. I betrayed your trust just as much as you betrayed mine, but I meant every word I said and I want you to come back. Be my servant again, be my friend if you're willing."

Merlin had had a rough nine months being forced to watch his friends and life in Camelot carry on without him. He understood where Arthur was coming from, but it hadn't stopped the pain from having to sever all connections. He had lived just outside the city walls, and often visited with Gaius. Whenever the prince was in danger, Merlin had been there making sure he stayed safe and alive. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn't hoped this day would come. Walking over the Arthur, he bent down and placed his forehead on the other man's knee. "I'm happy to serve you until the day I die, sire."

"You're such a girl, Merlin." Arthur's tone was teasing as he pulled both of them to their feet and embraced the man in a tight hug. "I love you," Arthur whispered in his ear. Merlin froze, unable to comprehend what he was saying. Arthur immediately pulled back, a grief-stricken look on his face. "I'm sorry. I just asked you to come back and now I'm acting like a girl. You can leave again if you want." Instead of answering him, Merlin wrapped an arm around the back of Arthur's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Arthur wound his hands into Merlin's soft, dark locks and thrust his tongue in between Merlin's delicious lips. Both men moaned as they devoured each other's mouths. Breathless, they broke apart and stared in each other's eyes.

"I love you too, Arthur." They smiled at each other, and the rest of the night was spent getting reacquainted in old and new ways. Apologies were spoken, promises made and Merlin showed Arthur he could still enjoy an intimate touch. There were a lot of things they still needed to talk about, but for the night they were finally together again, and everything seemed right with the world.


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A/N: So lippykid told me the last paragraph was so corny and essentially I'm a fluff addict. Which I won't deny ^^ You can ignore the happiness if the super dark is more your thing lol.

I'd really like some feedback. This fic was my first attempt at anything dark and it was so challenging and fun to write! *muah*

Find my other stories on my master fic post here.